On the train to Verona right now, eagerly awaiting the Palazzo Musei where one of the original block prints of Hokusai’s Great Wave is on display in italy of all places - the very same artwork that bahini once saw at a friend’s house and asked if they had painted it and I called her uncultured swine - I apologize belatedly again for that insult bahini that was unnecessary. But it is still one of the most recognizable and one of my favorite prints, and I look forward to seeing it in real life and hopefully getting a copy of it.
I write this after my first stay in a hostel, after an evening on my own in the city of Bologna, after making the cardinal mistake of responding ciao to a random stranger heckling me in the night but pretty quickly also firmly saying that I’m crossing the street and going alone (after which thank god he didn’t follow), a solo dinner where I enjoyed the best pasta I’ve ever had and a huge piece of tiramisu (which I saved for breakfast the next morning), and walked home the 40 minutes back, traversing the train tracks and navigating in the dark, all the while talking to myself to ward off any more weirdos and feeling, honestly, quite drunk off the lack of sleep and excitement at the successful solo venture. No drinks were had that night, since I wanted to keep my wits about me just in case, but I still felt silly, as i always do when I’m alone.
But back to the title. I met/noticed a lot of solo female travellers, much like me, which made me feel much less alone and much more bolstered in confidence, but they also seemed younger while also more sure of themselves. Maybe they were locals, maybe they were more seasoned (this being my first solo trip outside of Nepal), but I also wonder if there’s a factor of the loss of the covid years for me. I was 20-21 when covid especially hit the US, in my junior year of college and right before my 21st birthday, where I planned to finally go hit the clubs downtown. Instead, I toasted with a small glass of red wine with my parents on the day. It was also the years of my planned solo travels - Ghana, Nepal, Italy, Japan, to name just the few I had already promised to friends. Because my teenage rebellion years hit a little late (end of high school was hell), my coming of age and entering into adulthood also hit late, and with covid, I missed my self-discovery moments. Moments like these on the train, where I see a young woman struggling to charge her phone through the on-train outlets, and offering her my battery pack. Moments like when I saw a young man abruptly change direction as he realized he went the wrong way - a classic about-face with a little shake of the head, as if simultaneously reprimanding and reorienting himself. Moments in my own journey, where I’ve dealt with loneliness, fear, slight panics, and overall lots of uncomfortability (Fede’s dad’s favorite (jk not) word in English). That’s why even as I am days away from turning 26 (twenty-six!!! Squarely ending my mid-twenties soon!), I still see myself as 24, and sometimes in moments of extreme loss of direction, as young as 22. Covid stole so much from us, but for me, it was mainly that opportunity for growth in such formative years. I feel as if I’m just catching up now, and while I’m glad that I get this opportunity, so so grateful for my parents for building me up to be independent with this sense of curiosity, and to have the privilege and funds to explore like this, between jobs, I feel so behind. Do you think I’ll ever catch up? Or maybe realize finally, that I’m not on any timeline. It’s ok to be figuring this out now. We all are.
Ok this isn’t for the blog I’m just gonna be typing because I like typing and the train is late and I’m getting a little agitated and I’m thirsty but also gassy and I don’t know what to do so I’m just gonna type and get out all my micro frustrations I just dont want to be late to the museum tonight and I won’t be able to see it tomorrow morning so I’m just really. Really hoping to be able to see it and have another lovely night walking around verona and having some cheesy ass romance moment at Giuliettas courtyard and look cute and pretty while doing it but also I don’t have time to change once I get to the hotel because i’ll probably get there close to 4:30 and with check in and stuff I’ll be in the room 4:45 and the last ticket to the museum is 5:10 AHHHHHHH i’m officially stressing now ah goodness ok this might be the most frustrating thing about trains is the lack of control over the schedule and stops with cars there’s a lot more independence which is really interesting because you kind of need that in the US there’s not enough populated places located close enough to make a train between them worth it really, without making a bunch of microstops but it would be so nice if we could have a train service that
Oh my god I think the train just stopped and we’re not gonna get outta here until ok oh ok it’s moving again we gucci but i just. Really. Wanna see this block print. But hey. If it doesn’t happen. It’s ok. You don’t have limited opportunities. They have other block prints showcased in various places around the world, including most recently Chicago!!! So you’ll see it. Don’t worry babes.
I decided to include it anyway to showcase my stream of consciousness typing please enjoy I know I sure will later on even with the requisite embarrassment.
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